Several years ago, I did like a “Cliff Note” version on this topic. So to do it justice, the following is the complete article that appeared in the Lassen Advocate of July 5, 1873.
“On account of the great injury to the human family resulting from the use of adulterated liquors and being moved by principles of benevolence and an earnest desire to benefit suffering humanity, I have determined to organize a Loafer’s Society in Susanville.
“The object of this society shall be the promotion of the cause of temperance; and as all other means and expedients have failed to reduce the liquor traffic, the founder has come to the conclusion that the only effectual way to destroy the baneful influences of liquor on society, is for a few devoted men to sacrifice themselves for the good of the community, and consume all the intoxicating beverages of what kind soever that may be found in the community. By the word consume as used in this connection, is meant to throw one’s self on the outside of, guzzle, to get away with. Consequently, the difference between this and other temperance societies is, that whereas, Orthodox temperance organizations, forbid their members the use of various or intoxicating liquor; this society shall require its members to drink all the virous or intoxicating liquors they can find, or by any means get hold of.
It should also the duty of members of this society, to distribute themselves about the entrances of churches and places of public gatherings, and stare at and make remarks about ladies. This, we think will an impressive lesson upon the minds of a rising generation.
“The only recommendations required to become a member of the Loafer’s Society will be, immoral character, an easy flow of profane and vulgar language and a large capacity for whiskey.”
This is a fantastic piece that demonstrates humor is bounded by no era. People are people.
Precursor to the ‘Never Sweats.”
Sign me up!!